so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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