Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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