At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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