i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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