I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
