Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
They have beer where we have blood.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
