I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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