between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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