This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
