Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
