I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
