so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
