Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
