1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
