Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
