so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
