dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
