That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
