i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
