i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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