i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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