Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
