the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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