My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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