...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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