dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
