I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
