Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
