If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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