There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
