i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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