Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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