why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
