He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
