the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
