just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
