i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
either way he was missing a nipple.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
