Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
