Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize