There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
