You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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