I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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