We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
