sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize