peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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