pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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