Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think people are normalizing furries
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
