Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
