I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
