Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
