Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
