try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
