I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
