i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
