uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
