Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
