Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
