I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
