I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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