I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
