Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
