just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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