I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
