Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
