we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize