Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
